


Lying Next to You

by ginger_mosaic



Category: Marvel (Comics), Marvel 616, Young Avengers
Genre: Gen, Nightmares, Team Bonding
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-02
Updated: 2015-04-02
Packaged: 2018-03-20 13:22:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,439
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3651891
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ginger_mosaic/pseuds/ginger_mosaic
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The first time it happens, Kate ignores it. Or at least she pretends she does not see. It’s none of her business, and she is pretty sure it’s one of those things you just don’t talk about.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Lying Next to You

The first time it happens, Kate ignores it. Or at least she pretends she does not see. It’s none of her business, and she is pretty sure it’s one of those things you just don’t talk about. 

It doesn’t happen every night, but the second time, she almost says something. She knows what it’s like to wake up from a nightmare (only to find yourself in a different one), in a strange place, with no one around for comfort. Because despite the fact that they are a team and they have been on Noh-varr’s ship long enough that it doesn’t feel exactly _unfamiliar_ , it still isn’t home. 

And Loki isn’t exactly a friend. 

He groans quietly and grips his head in his hands, elbows on his knees, and Kate almost says something. Before she can decide whether Loki would accept comfort despite the damage to his pride or only resent her for his humiliation, Loki gets up and pads out of the room, stepping over Billy on his way. Kate falls back asleep before he returns, and in the morning Loki is the same chipper, slightly annoying kid he always is and Kate forgets about the childish fear in his eyes when he first woke with a gasp. 

The third time it happens—although if she’s being honest, it’s probably only the third time she’s noticed—she is sitting up with Noh-varr on the couch. They have been talking about music, but then Loki begins to whine in his sleep and Noh-varr glances at where he’s lying on the floor with the rest of the team. There aren’t enough rooms for everyone, so unless someone is injured, they all stick together in the common room, with sleeping bags and futons. Loki shifts and mutters, and Noh-varr frowns. 

“I think he has nightmares,” Kate whispers. “Not every night, but often enough.” 

Noh-varr turns to her, concerned. “You’ve seen this before?” 

She nods. “I… haven’t been sleeping well.” 

“No one has, I think,” says Noh-varr, looking back at the team. 

“You too?”

The crease in his brow is answer enough. 

“I feel bad,” she says. “‘Cause he’s Loki, but he’s just a kid. No kid should have nightmares like that.” 

“It is my experience that trauma does not discriminate based on age,” says Noh-varr. 

Kate remembers the weight of her school bag pulling her down and bites her lip. “Yeah,” she says. 

They fall silent, Loki’s whimpers filling the chasm of sound in the ship, and Kate feels awkward, like she’s intruding on something terribly private, made worse by Noh-varr’s presence. As though before it was a secret between her and Loki and now it has been discovered. 

She doesn’t have to feel awkward for long, because then Loki gasps and sits up, eyes wide. He takes several shaky breaths and then leans forward and hunches over. His shoulders shake and he clutches his bed roll in his fists. His hair has fallen over his eyes, so Kate can’t see the fright usually clouding them when this happens. 

She exchanges a glance with Noh-varr and then takes a deep breath. “Everything all right?” 

Loki sits straight up and his head snaps around to look at her in wide-eyed shock. Then he blinks and his expression is blank. Kate is both impressed and a little worried by how quickly he can put the mask back on. His eyes flick to Noh-varr and then back to Kate. 

“Of course,” he says a little hoarsely, and then he clears his throat and tries again. “Are you two kissing? Because if you are, I don’t want to see it.” 

“We were talking,” says Kate, allowing the deflection. 

“Well, don’t let me interrupt,” says Loki, lying back down and turning away. “If you’re going to kiss, please wait until I’m asleep.” 

Kate rolls her eyes at Noh-varr, who smirks. “Since you’re up now, d’you want some cocoa?” asks Kate. 

Loki is silent, thinking, and then he sits up again. “All right,” he says, and his eyes narrow suspiciously. “But only because it’s practically immoral to deny an offer of any form of chocolate.” 

Kate smiles and looks to Noh-varr. He nods and gets up from the couch to go to the kitchen. 

“Come on,” Kate says to Loki. “Let’s drink it in the cockpit. We’ll keep it a secret from these losers.” 

That makes Loki grin and he stands and follows her to the front of the ship. They sit at the console and watch the stars until Noh-varr reappears with three mugs and tells them to please not drink near the console. Kate wants to kiss his cheek because boys are so cute about their stupid cars/spaceships/miscellaneous vehicles, but she doesn’t because Loki has already requested that there be no kissing in his presence. Loki teases Noh-varr by asking what various buttons do and Noh-varr just warns him not to touch it. 

“What about this one?” asks Loki. 

“That’s the self-destruct button,” says Noh-varr, taking a casual sip of his cocoa. 

Loki stares at him, his expression carefully blank. “No it’s not,” he says, but his hand hovers over the blue button uncertainly. 

Noh-varr raises an eyebrow in a clear challenge and Loki finally withdraws his hand. 

“It empties the waste receptacle,” Kate tells him, and when Noh-varr blinks at her, she shrugs. “I’ve been paying attention. And I like ships.” 

Noh-varr hums thoughtfully. “Have you ever flown one?” 

She grins. “I’d like to try.”

“As would I,” Loki chirps. 

“No,” Kate and Noh-varr say at once. Loki pouts, and Kate reaches over to pinch his cheek and he bats her hand away. 

“We could be Flight Club,” says Loki. “While everyone else is asleep, Kate and I could learn to fly the ship. And the first rule could be not to talk about Flight Club.” 

“Don’t touch my ship,” says Noh-varr. 

“You’ll have to settle for cocoa club,” says Kate. 

“I suppose cocoa club will have to do,” says Loki with a sigh. “But can we still call it Flight Club?” 

“Do you have trouble sleeping often?” Kate asks, trying her best to be nonchalant. 

Loki gives her a look that tells her he is not convinced. “I don’t know if you’ve noticed, Kate Bishop,” he says, “but we’re being chased by an interdimensional parasite that can bring our dead parents back to life. Back in Broxton, my sire threatened to eat me. And you were awake before I was, though I suspect that was more due to kissing than not being able to sleep.” 

“Or were we kissing because we had trouble sleeping?” suggests Noh-varr, and Kate kicks his foot. He smiles behind his mug and swivels his chair to face the window. They sit in silence together, sipping their cocoas and watching the stars. 

“I have this recurring nightmare,” says Kate before she even realizes she is speaking, “of running through a forest. I don’t know what’s chasing me, but I’m running for my life. And I always have a weapon, but I don’t know how to use it for some reason. Even if it’s a bow, in the dream I’m always aware that I don’t know how to use it. 

“So I’m running, right? And I reach the edge of something. Even though I’m still in the middle of the forest, for some reason I know I can’t go any further. So I turn around to fight, but nothing is there. Something was chasing me and then… nothing.” 

Kate looks up from her mug. She had been watching the cocoa, swirling it around slowly, like she was hypnotizing herself. The dream is always unsettling. She always wakes up from it feeling foolish and yet helpless. She meets Loki’s eyes and he stares back at her. 

“That’s nice, Kate,” he says mildly. 

Little shit. Still, she can’t blame him for not wanting to open up. 

“I, too, have unsettling dreams,” says Noh-varr, still facing the stars. “Though they are nothing like what you have described, Kate.” 

She can imagine, unfortunately. She didn’t even describe the worst dream she regularly has: Cassie’s death. Over and over again. She knows Billy has the same nightmare. They talk about it sometimes, but it is too personal to share with Loki and even Noh-varr. So yeah. She can understand if Loki doesn’t want to share. 

“We aren’t invincible, I guess,” she says. “Though it would be nice to not be reminded of that every night.” 

“Is this one of you mortals’ existential crises?” asks Loki. 

“Ha ha,” says Kate. “You’re not invincible either, Loki.” She pauses, considering. Is it a sensitive topic? She decides that she doesn’t care; he is being a little shit. “I mean, you died, right?” 

“The Loki before me did,” he says. “But as you can see, gods can come back.” 

“Yeah, but Thor did that,” says Kate with a sad smile. “You need someone else to bring you back.” 

“You’d be surprised,” Loki mutters into his mug. 

“I’m just saying that all of us aren’t invulnerable,” she says. “And it’s okay. It’s normal to feel pain and have bad dreams.” She pauses as Noh-varr turns his chair back around and she exchanges a glance with him. “You can tell us,” she says to Loki. “It’ll be a Flight Club secret.” 

Loki smirks and looks down into his cocoa and appears to be thinking about it. He licks his lips and when he raises his gaze again he looks more like a child than before, green eyes wide and bright. “I dreamt I was flying the ship,” he says. 

“Not a chance,” says Noh-varr, leaning back in his chair again. 

“But I was really good at it!” 

Kate laughs and gives up. She should have known that she can’t manipulate Loki into giving up his secrets. Oh well. She doesn’t know what will happen the next time Loki wakes up from a nightmare, but she thinks maybe they could keep Flight Club going. Even if they don’t talk about what terrors visit their heads in the late hours of the night, there is comfort to be found in drinking cocoa with company. She might not call Loki a friend yet, but she can’t discount the idea. After all, Noh-varr wasn’t someone she would call a friend before either. 

They finish their drinks and Kate thinks it’s probably time to try sleeping again. Noh-varr takes the mugs back to the kitchen, but Kate hangs back with Loki in the cockpit. Partly because he is eyeing the console and partly because he seems sad and she wants to give him one last chance to come clean. 

“Come on, kid,” she says when he doesn’t move away from the window. “We have to at least pretend to sleep so no one finds out about Flight Club.” 

He finally turns away from the console. “It would be a terrible thing for them to discover it,” he agrees. Kate smiles and starts to leave the cockpit. “Um, Kate?” says Loki, and she stops and turns around. Loki plays with his fingers and it takes a few seconds for him to speak again. “Thank you,” he says, after a clear internal struggle. 

Kate smiles again. “Yeah. It’s okay.” 

“I feel… uneasy,” he says. “Because you shared a secret with me. So in the interest of fairness, I shall share one of my secrets with you.” 

“Oh?” 

He nods and Kate steps back into the cockpit. 

“Lay it on me,” she says. 

Loki bites his lip and his eyes flick around the room. Then he leans toward her. “I lied,” he whispers. “I wasn’t good at flying the ship. I crashed it and everybody died.” 

Kate laughs and shakes her head, and Loki grins. 

“You’re a little shit, you know that?” she says, reaching over to muss his hair. 

He actually giggles and pushes her arm away. “Good night, Kate Bishop.” 

“‘Night.” She lets him past her and then goes to find Noh-varr. He is in his room on his computer, and it looks like he is rearranging playlists again. He looks up when Kate leans against the doorway. 

“So?” he asks. 

Kate shrugs. “I tried.” 

“He’s very secretive. You can’t force him to talk about himself seriously. Nor can you manipulate him; he’s too clever for that.” 

“Just thought I’d let him know that door is open,” says Kate. She walks in and sits on Noh-varr’s bed. “That since we’re all on the same side here—or at least in the same boat—it’s okay to depend on each other a little. It helps the team function better.” 

Noh-varr frowns. “Same boat?” 

“It’s an expression.” 

“Perhaps, not being a preteen male yourself, you don’t know that sharing feelings is not generally how they bond,” Noh-varr tells her. “Not in this region of the universe, anyway.” 

Kate rolls her eyes. “Oh, right, I forgot that boys don’t have _feelings_. Thanks, Patriarchy.” 

“It may be best to focus team-bonding on something else. But you’re right,” he adds, “at least he knows it would be okay to share.” 

Kate frowns. “I guess,” she says begrudgingly. She stands up and goes to put her hands on his shoulders, looking at his screen. There is a long list of Billie Holiday songs. “We should probably turn in, too,” she reminds him. 

Noh-varr turns his chair to face her and Kate leans down to kiss him. He pulls her into his lap and they eventually make it to bed, but it’s a while before they fall asleep. Kate doesn’t dream. Thank God. 

\--- 

Flight Club does continue, with growing membership each week until the whole team is staying up later than they should because _no one_ can sleep, but during the “daylight” hours, they never talk about it. Because that’s the first rule. 

At first, Loki seems a little annoyed that others have joined them in their late-night cocoa drinking (which eventually changes to tea and then whatever beverage they can find once they run out of cocoa), but it’s fun to stay up with everyone and soon even he gets sucked into conversation. They never talk about _why_ they are all staying up late or who started it, because that would be against the rules, too, but it’s a good way to bond anyway. And maybe someday, Kate thinks, Loki will even share a secret with them. Because they’re a team, and like it or not, he is part of it now, and friends share secrets with each other and help each other out. 

For now, whatever secret he’s hiding, it’s just one of those things they don’t talk about. Not yet.


End file.
